It's A Hard Life When You're Married To The GOP

I've been ruminating on the insistence of some folks to compare managing our national debt and debt ceiling to running a household -- "there comes a time when you just have to cut up those credit cards." While this analogy has a lovely populist ring to it, it's actually quite foolish and detracts from the broader discussion. Economies of scale present macro economic problems that can't be solved with simple homilies. Unfortunately people on the TV box love this notion of a giant national credit card and it's become a foregone conclusion that we are on the hard road to austerity. So for those who adhere to this nonsense let's pick up the analogy just after the Clinton years. Here's MY take on the "American Household" (please disregard any blatant sexism):

After working hard for several years to get the kids through school and the family finances in order, you and your wife have finally begun to pay off your debt. In fact you have a plan to be debt free in just a few years and have started talking about building that dream house. All is bliss until one morning the wife walks in and announces, "We've got more than enough money now, so honey I'm quitting my job!!" The next day, she goes out and signs you up for two expensive spa memberships and buys an overpriced timeshare that her no good brother was selling.

All along you've let her handle the bills because, "...she's the one that's good with money," but pretty soon you discover that not only has she maxed out the credit cards partying with her friends, but all the bills are three months past due. You look around and you've got a house full of junk that you don't want and can't afford and it's all stuff her friends were selling: boxes of Mary Kay cosmetics, cases of vitamin supplements, Tupperware, PartyLite candles, Pampered Chef gadgets and assorted sex toys you've never even seen before. And then to top it all off you find out she's invested your entire life savings with some dude named Bernie and he's nowhere to be found. And something inside of you snaps.

You tell her to get out, you're changing the locks: "Don't come back, go ruin someone else's life!" Well she doesn't like that very much, so she burns down your house and leaves. So there you sit. Not only do you have a mountain of debt with nothing to show for it but you're going to have to borrow more money to rebuild because she didn't bother to pay the insurance premiums either.

So you adjust and you scrimp and you borrow what you have to to rebuild and after a year or so things start to level out. You avoided bankruptcy and kept your sanity and you're just starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. Then the phone rings. It's her. She's sorry. She lost her head and she swears she'll never do it again. She's got a new job and could she just come over for old times sake?

The next thing you know she's cooking you breakfast and when you ask about her new job she says jobs aren't important. What's important is that you pay off all of that debt she ran up, so there are going to be some changes around here. No more cigars. No more beer. No more poker nights or baseball games. No more fishing trips and definitely no more NASCAR weekends. She wants you to go on a diet and sell all your tools. Oh, and one more thing -- she's got religion and lots of it and you're going to church on Sunday mister!

So, the moral of the story is, isn't it time we finally divorce ourselves from ruinous Republican economic policy? They may know how to maximize corporate profits by shipping American jobs overseas, but they have no clue how to run a national economy. Do we really want the vast majority of Americans living a hard life of austerity while a very small number of us live like kings? Isn't that what we rebelled against in the first place?