Primary season is in full swing and while the Republican front runners are busy exposing each others uniquely unelectable qualities, sooner or later a winner will emerge from this mess and turn their sights on the true foe of all that is right and good about Real America. Then once they're done with Michael Moore, I'm sure they'll get around to the obligatory attempt to “Swift Boat” President Obama's rather healthy, some would say historic, list of accomplishments.
Watching the endless Republican debates has been like watching the longest season of Big Brother ever. From Wikipedia: “Despite derision from many critics, the show has been a commercial success around the world. The voyeuristic nature of the show, in which contestants volunteer to surrender their privacy in return for minor celebrity status and a comparatively small cash prize, has attracted much scorn.” Sounds to me like an apt description of this debate season although the cash prize is no doubt much more lucrative.
With all of that in mind it is next to impossible for us health care loving, food stamp eating, environmental Marxists not to get a bit over confident in President Obama's chances for reelection. Me? I'm still enough of a Capitalist to not be above cashing in on the situation so I've written what may be the perfect Republican campaign song for the general election. In the tradition of all politicians everywhere, I am open to the highest bidder:
Mr. President Please Don't Kill Grandma (as performed by The Waterboarders)
The President waived from the podium
The crowd gave a triumphant cry
As he turned to step from the platform
A sad little girl caught his eye
The little girl tugged at his coat sleeve
The President bent lower to hear
On her tip toes she pulled herself closer
And whispered these words in his ear.....
"Mr President, please don't kill grandma
Keep your socialist hands off her guns
You're a Moos-i-lum, terrorist Nazi
You smoke and you dress like a bum"
"My teacher thinks you might be Satan
She says you kill babies with glee
And you're building camps in the desert
So you can re-educate me"
"You apologized for being an American
You bowed to that Arabian Prince
You told the whole world we're not Christians
You even suck up to the French"
"You were born in a foreign country
Like Hawaii, or maybe Japan
You tell lies about Global Warming
And ACORN is your biggest fan"
Chorus x2 (Everybody sing!)