Feel Good Parenting + Boom Economy = Gen Y Children!

Many years ago when a "Traditionalist," one born before 1946, complained about the problems of the Baby Boomer children, they would say, ”Why can’t little Johnny or Jane read?”  Today we could change that to, “Why can’t little Aden or Ava read?” Aden and Ava are Generation Y children and the children born to late Baby Boomers or to Generation X parents. Why indeed? 

It is often said, “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.”  Who is rocking Aden and Ava’s cradle?  If we have educated parents rocking the cradle then why can’t Little Aden or Ava “read” or sit quietly in a public restaurant, make eye contact with their elders, get along with their peers, make change from a dollar bill, arrive at work on time, pass a physical fitness test or play a board game without anger?  Why are parents of today producing a generation of non-producers?  What have the late baby boomer and early Gen X parents done to their children.  

When looking at today’s youth it is clear to see something has changed in their upbringing from their parent’s upbringing.  Why are so many of the Gen Y group; spoiled, obese, computer zombies, ill-mannered lagers, and bullies making headlines everyday.  

What we are seeing and reading about are selfish, ego-driven, self-ordained youth that want what they want now!  Gen Y don’t even see their behavior as unbecoming because they have been allowed to behave this way their entire lives.  Asking for a $200 pair of shoes each season was the norm and getting them was also the norm. Giving without any requirements normally produce takers and Gen Y are indeed takers.  How normal does this sound in today's economy of 10 percent unemployment and millions loosing their homes?

There was once a time when reality ruled and truth was a mainstay in raising children.  Late Gen X and Y children grew up when the prevailing theory was, based on everyone “feeling good” about themselves.  Doctors said to encourage everyone's self esteem because it would be better to make everyone feel like a winner.  The theory was in effect not to single out anyone with talents or superior abilities or you will damage the self esteem of everyone around them who do not have advanced abilities.  Now mix the "feel good" parenting theory with a booming economy and you get parents producing Gen Y children.  “I have the resources to give to my children what I wanted when I grew up and and I want my children to have it because I want them to feel good about themselves.”  

I well remember the first time I witnessed this new “theory” of child rearing.  Prior to 1985, Field Day at school was a day that highlighted children who had superior athletic skills.  Field Day was that one day a year that they were honored for their specific advanced athletic abilities.  Field Day consisted of many events that tested student's athletic abilities.  Events like the 100 Yard Dash, the Mile Run, the Broad Jump, and the Team Relay ruled the day and everyone participated, yet only the best won a ribbon.  Field Day was a day for those talented in sports.  It was not the day for those talented in singing, dance, academics, science or leadership. Those children were honored on other days but not Field Day.

How did this change?  Educational leaders we the first to introduce this theory to most of America.  I remember the day I first hear them explain how not honoring talent and identifying everyone as special would raise everyone's slef esteem. It was at a PTA Field Day planning meeting, we were told that now all children would receive participation ribbons for being at Field Day. What about Matt Asbell? Field Day was Matt's day!  Matt could out run every other kid in the school?  Why was it necessary to take away this one day he was a recognized for his talents just so all the other slow kids would not feel bad about thier lack of speed?  We all fell in line but, I thought, “What about children who shine on this day?”  Why are we trying to dumb down our children?  Why are we going to teach them their talent and skills no longer matter?  Now, in an effort to make everyone “feel good" and not damage their self esteem” we give everyone a ribbon for just being on the field.  Sounds silly now but it really was the prevailing theory in raising the self esteems of children.

How has that worked for us?  How has that affected our children?  Do we not think that children can't see who runs the fastest or throws the farthest?  It was Matt and Valeria at my elementary school.  In our effort to make everyone “feel good" about themselves have we created a generation of egotistical takers?  We took away the reality of life which is, we are each given a gift and we are to make good use of that gift in our life. But, we raised Gen Y that they were good at everything and I mean everything! 

Mommies and daddies of today would never think of not paying up to give their child a trophy for just being on a soccer team!  Today’s children have bedrooms full of trophies without any skills to back them up.  Today’s child might be the slowest runner, a horrible ball handler, and never even score one point, yet they will get the same trophy as the best player on the team.  Has this foolish theory raised a generation of self absorbed youth? They have been told their entire life, YOU ARE THE BEST only to learn later that it was all a ploy to help increase their friends and classmates self esteem.  Now they enter the work force only to find out they are now being judged by their abilities and not by mommy and daddies wallet! There is no FEEL GOOD theory hiring now days.  

Successful persons learn early what their talents are and move forward into the area. Yet, now Gen Y is living in a world of major changes where their skills are being judged under microscopes and only the very best are being asked to “play” on "employment day!"  Gen Y has the $200,000 college degree and no job.  They have the $300 cell phone but can only call their out of work college friends.  They have a room full of trophies in mommies and daddies house but are living in their parents basements with no future of a job or their own place. They are "occupying" nothing.  What is the answer for Gen Y?  Maybe counseling that dissects their now faltering self esteem that we worked so hard to produce.  

Maybe parents of today's children will help their children discover their real talents and encourage them to become their best in that field.  Maybe today's parents won't be afraid of saying, "You know Little Aden or Ava, Little Liam is awesome on the basketball court and we should be happy for his talent.  Your talents lie somewhere else, let's find out what your talent and gifts are and become the best you can be."  Let's face it, the days of buying $200 tennis shoes are only for those parents who still they have the ability to make their children popular by lying or buying they children self esteems.