Too Sexy, Too Soon

It’s that time of the year again. Saturdays are crisp. Fall is in the air. We are gearing up the pageantry of competition.  If you think I am talking about the football season you would be wrong. The fall crowning of Miss Universe is the official opening of the new 2012 pageant season.  Whether the crown represents Miss United States, Miss Mill Creek, or a toddler on Toddlers & Tiaras, the pageant season has begun.  

With their engaging smiles, beautiful gowns, sparkling qualities, contestants begin to work towards winning their next coveted crown. On any given weekend thousands of girls compete for prizes, scholarship money, recognition and the crown. How can anyone not like pageants?  Yet, pageant crowns are showing a bit of tarnish in the media. ? 

American’s first pageant was held in 1920s. Margaret Gorman won the title of Miss America. Since that time, the public has had a love/hate relationship with pageants. In the 1920s, many thought the swimsuits worn by the contestants were too racy. Many saw it as women flaunting themselves in a sexual nature. Today with technology and pop culture aggressively marketing sex to your sons and daughters with video games, movies, provocative clothing, risque Halloween costumes, and easy access porn sites, are our children’s activities also fast forwarding our children into provocative actions that they are not emotional sophisticated enough to understand? Which activities are promoting early sexual behavior? For our daughters we can look at dance, pageants, and cheerleading as possible activities that are sexualized age forwarding environments. I suggest to you that the sexualizing of our sons and daughters is more about the media’s need to sell products.   

Why are pageants getting such a bad rap from the media? Why have other activities that we encourage our daughters to become involved in gotten a pass from the media and parents? Short of Girls Scouts, many of the activities our daughters are involved in are being accused of sexualizing our daughter’s childhoods. Any activity that we encourage our daughters to become involved in should, at the very least, encourage our children’s sense esteem, teach self discipline, promote friendship and act as a venue for self expression.

Yet, why is it that dance is being given a pass? When was the last time you saw a dance recital?  Sure, the three-year-old class comes out as Little Bo Peep, dressed is darling little pinafores with crinolines petticoats. They are covered in bows, as they do a heel-toe-heel-toe, slide-slide-slide along to cutsie-putsie music. It is so cute you just want to kiss them all. You would be hard pressed to recognize any even faintly sexual movements.  

Now, let us fast forward a few years to our young daughters who are now wearing slinky, skin tight, braless, leotards, in full smoky eye make up as they perform a routine that includes many sexual suggestive moves that have the dancers in various stages of legs wide open, slithering their bodies across the stage, and using moves that one might learn in a pole dancing class! How did we move from cutie-putsie or beautifully clothed elegant dancers expressing movement to classical music, to harsh, bold, and suggestive movements to sexual lyrics and sometimes violent tunes? SAVE YOUR COMMENTS! I paid for my daughter to attend dance classes so, I know of what I write about.  Go view your school or community’s next dance recital with this “Too Sexy - Too Soon” mentality. Are we nurturing our young dancers or encouraging our daughter to move rapidly towards premature sexuality?   

Why are we staying quiet as dance continues to sexualize our daughters? It is a choice a parent makes not to talk to the dance director about concerns and how she can address them. Start the conservation with other adults and studio parents about the values you want your child to be involved with at dance. Be prepared for some parents to be desensitized to the sexual overtones as they may be resigned to the present nature of the routines. Becoming desensitized is easy as we are assaulted daily by the sexual minefields of our culture. Our daughters are also desensitized by the watching popular performers like Brittany Spears or Lady GaGa performing raw sexual dance routines, half dressed, and grouping themselves.  They copy the movements without even realizing they are emulating sexual behavior. 

Media does not support parents as they reel in our children and encourage parents to buy into the sexualized culture of consumerism. Don’t believe me? Cinderella and Snow White were covered fully with beautiful gowns. Count the number of new “Disney Princesses” that have their navel showing and have curvy cleavage! Our young sons are watching the violence highlighting half naked sexy women on wrestling and it is having age compression issues as they are not mature enough to understand why they are so attracted to wrestling! Girls are wearing thongs, padded bras and clothing announcing their sexual lives to all. We are moving our children into being sexual and they are not emotionally ready at these young ages.

Moving on to another popular activity for our daughters to enjoy requires them to wear the ever shrinking, belly bearing tops, tiny oh-so-too-skin skimming short skirts, with splits that go thigh high as they routinely perform to the delight of spectators. Let’s not forget to complete the “cheerleader uniforms” with their little matching thong covers (sometimes complete with paw prints on our daughter bums) that must be worn because the skirts just get smaller and smaller year after year.  Does adding a sweet hair bow really return them back to innocent children?  As they dance, to suggestive songs, with hip gyrating action and thrusting motions, they work to rial up the stand fans and student body. What has happened to modesty? At what point did mothers say YES to their daughters doing spread eagles to the delight of the football team members as well as the males in the stands? Why is it now so appropriate for our daughters to care so little as to what is shown during their cheers, jumps, and stunts?  I have yet to see their male counterparts in skimpy shorts that highlight their male parts for full view.

Again, SAVE YOUR COMMENTS! Many news stations routinely report about cheerleaders that have come under fire for their way too sexual performances.  There is a reason professional football teams have half-naked cheerleaders on the sidelines and it is not to lead the crowds in “GO TEAM” cheers! That being said, I have been involved with both dance and cheerleading in the past. I have enjoyed many dance recitals that were wonderfully entertaining. I have thrilled at many sporting events that had performing cheerleaders. Yet, I have also watched as as dance and cheer routines have become more suggestive along with their costumes or uniforms. 

A cheerleading sponsor was met with cries of “BOO HOO” when she said her girls would not be preforming a sexual halftime shows. She was told, as a white teacher in a black inner city school, she was “too white” for them. She held firm and at the end of the season her girls thanked her for caring about them as no other sponsor had. Take a stand against sexual provocative routines. I am not speaking against these activities themselves, but the way they are sexualizing our daughters. I have seen both groups move at light speed forward into the popular culture of sexualization of our daughters. Yes, they are learning how to dance and yes, they are learning to cheer and tumble but at what cost? I have no issue with the actual learning process. It is the sexualization of our children that I am concerned about, not the preforming art of dance or the sport of cheering.  

Yet, when comparing a dance recital, a cheerleading night, or a pageant, I find the pageant performance least suggestive or sexual. At the high school pageant, the contestants walk with grace and poise. They wear elegant gowns. They model their sportswear with charisma and style. They are required to appear in proper dress or suits as they interview for the job of “Miss High School.” If the contestant wants to wear the crown she must possess elegance, intelligence, charm, and the ability to speak in an intelligent and engaging manner is required. I have seen judges not listen to a director and choose a poor example for their queen, but time always has a way of working things out. Why then are pageants taking such a public downgrading while dance and cheerleading are getting a pass? 

In reality there will always be moms that cross a line in their desire to have their daughter outshine the other participants. It is their walk to take yet, I think most parents do not want their daughters or sons to grow up too fast. Sex parties, teen drug habits, STD’s, high school drop outs, early pregnancy, illegitimate births, and welfare mothers are just some of the issues that our daughters and sons are having to face along with sexual age compression issues.  

I believe the media could find just as much wrong with cheerleading and dance as they have with pageants. The Dacula cluster schools each have a pageant system that includes the elementary, middle and high schools as well as local scholarship and charity pageants. Our clusters offer wonderful programs for their winners to learn about volunteering in their communities and to becoming leaders among their peers. While each school runs their pageant a bit different, the one thing they all have in common is the search for girls that represents what is best about their school. The girl that wears the crown should be the best each school has to offer in the areas of scholastics, leadership, volunteerism, personality, poise, personal style, intelligence, appearance, and charm. As a 20-year judge, I can tell you each pageant offers a different experience. Each is searching for something a different. What we are not looking for is the sexy, hot girl who is choosing to engage in activities that are unbecoming a queen.  

The Miss American Pageant System is the largest scholarship program in the country rewarding thousands of dollars to worthy girls to pursue their educational future. Local high school winners also receive college scholarship funds for being their very best.  It is true there is only one winner in a pageant but, in life there is also only one boss, one president, one VIP.  If you are not up to bringing your “A” game, don’t come. Pageants are not for the weak. When it is all over each girl knows the one wearing the crown was the one who put in her time and brought her best to the stage that day. I am always amazed at how a parent will say mean comments about another cheerleader, dancer, or contestant because her child did not shine as bright that day. In life not everyone gets a trophy for participating.  Pageants teach life. In reality pageants, dance, and cheerleading all can be excellent venues for our daughters to grow and become wonderful young women. It is our job as our children’s parents to protect them from the over sexualization of their childhood. Respect each mother's decision on which activities best suits their daughter’s natural talents instead of fighting about her choice. Your time would be better spent on working towards safeguarding our children from the media’s need to fast forward our children into becoming sexual beings so they can improve their bottom lines to the detriment of our children.