Should Women Accept That Men Will Be Unfaithful?

Controversial new book says women must accept infidelity as a natural behavior.

Are men predisposed to be unfaithful?

The author of a recently published book entitled "The Monogamy Gap" argues the answer is yes.

In a Sun Times article, Eric Anderson claims the majority of men are predisposed to cheating.

"I believe the ideal of monogamy is an irrational one because the truth is that men's sexual appetites are such that the majority won't be satisfied spending a lifetime being faithful to just one woman," Anderson wrote.

Do you believe men are predisposed to cheating? Should women be more understanding of infidelity? Is Anderson's book simply an attempt to justify morally unjustifiable behavior? Tell us in the comments.

Anderson asserts men should be honest with their significant others and confess their desire to cheat. Anderson further believes women should accept the male tendency towards infidelity in order to avoid putting an undue "burden" on relationships.

"I truly believe it would be far easier if men and women learned to accept the truth that a man's love for a woman is not dependent on his fidelity," Anderson opined. 

According to Oxford University Press, 78 percent of the men Anderson interviewed for the book confessed to cheating on a spouse or significant other. One hundred and twenty men, both homosexual and heterosexual, were interviewed. For his research, Anderson defined cheating as "any physical sexual behavior that would be met with disapproval by one’s partner -- even if it is just kissing."

In a review of the book, Catherine Hakim of the Guardian pointed out that while the men interviewed felt cheating was at least somewhat acceptable for men, they did not feel it was acceptable for their female partners.

" ... most men in this study wanted extra casual sex and sexual adventures for themselves, but they certainly did not want their partner to have the same privilege. So they maintained the sexual double standard, and relied heavily on what can variously be described as dishonesty or discretion, to keep their partner ignorant of their adventures and flings," Hakim wrote.

Hakim added that men will "love" Anderson's message that monogamy is "unfair and irrational."

Floyd Akridge March 19, 2012 at 09:15 PM
What a load of crap. Predispositioned to cheat. Whatever. EVEN if this were true what does that matter? When you marry you make a lifetime committment. Otherwise you're Newt Gingrich. (Ouch...but true).
ZenLill March 20, 2012 at 03:38 AM
LOVE the part where it's cool and even acceptable for men, but - oh no, not for their women...oh please, grow the hell up, that's just selfish nonsense.
R++ One of the Famous Dacula Crew March 20, 2012 at 04:53 AM
"Hakim added that men will "love" Anderson's message that monogamy is "unfair and irrational." Hakim will be sorely disappointed because not all men agree with this concept. Some of us have vastly different standards of success, based in part on actual observations of men that believe this concept is valid and the unsatisfactory quality of life they have. If women tolerate it, that's just sad on their part.
Cynthia Montgomery April 06, 2012 at 07:37 PM
Too many beating their children so, let's just accept that beating your children is "normal." Too many driving drunk so, let's just accept that driving drunk is "normal." Too many people engaging in doing drugs each day so, let's just say that doing drugs is "normal." Too many men cheating so, let' just say cheating is normal. Do you see a pattern developing here? We have become a society of morally weak selfish takers. We no longer assign blame or shame to actions that are harmful to those we love. We are a society that has lost the desire to be our best. I remember when a college professor said that in the future we will have 3 mates in life. You would get a renewable marriage license. SHOCKING! I can see where my mate has changed as have I. But 3 Mates? Hmm..I would choose a gene healthy & smart man to bear children with. I would choose a man that enjoyed family and outings for my second marriage. I would choose a healthy mate that enjoyed traveling for my retirement husband. The one you marry now is not going to be the same one 60 years later anymore than you are going to be the same after 60 years. The lucky ones are those wise enough to find all three of those people in one person & then is willing to change together. For the rest, we must learn to grow within ourselves to become a successful mate. Emotional maturity is elusive. Becoming a quality person takes effort.Cheating is not growing up?. The long married man was the most admired man is recent poll. Hmmm?


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