A World of Weirdos!

So I was at the Mall of Georgia the other day looking for a birthday gift for my little boy who just turned 3.  I had a few minutes to kill before meeting with my family to go have dinner.  I decided to just sit down and observe the wonderful patrons at the mall going about their shopping. 

Now maybe it’s true that I don’t get out much and it has been a while since I’ve really sat down and looked at people and studied them, but I was left in shock at…well, it’s hard to place a word on it.  ‘Weird’ is about all I can come up with.  I felt like I had left the earth only to return to some strange alien planet.

In less than 10 minutes I witnessed: 

-More tattoos than you might see at an NBA All-Star game.

-A young woman that was so skinny I almost bought her a Cinnabon right on the spot.

-Kids who had kids who had cell phones.

-Way too many people that were wearing clothes at least two sizes too small.

-A newborn baby who looked to have just been born in the Belk parking lot.

-A huge afro, several Mohawks, and hair in just about every color possible.

-Herds of morbidly obese people of all ages (sadly kids included) who struggled to perform the simple task of walking.

So many questions went through my mind as I was sitting there…Who are these people and where do they come from?  Where do they work?  How do they work?  Did everyone just win the lottery and I somehow missed it?  Am I in the wrong business?  How can they be good parents?  What parent lets their kid wear that?  Who dates these people?  Who finds them attractive?  Why can’t they stop eating?  Why is my wife taking so long?  Okay, that last question had nothing to do with my people observations, but she does seem to take her sweet time on occasion.

Anyway, I may never know the answers to some of these questions unless maybe I set up an interview booth.  Hmm…this is very tempting.  I wonder what it costs to rent one of those kiosks.  An interview booth asking personal questions about your life can’t be any worse than someone hassling you to buy a flying helicopter, cell phone cover, hair extensions, or an electric cigarette.

Now of course there were also a few normal looking people and families as well.  I’m also quite sure there were some very attractive women.  As a married man I wasn’t looking, just going on percentages here.

And for those of you who feel I am being a little shallow, too judgmental, or overly insensitive, have no fear.  When I got home I looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud, “You are the weirdest one of them all!”