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If Your Name Is Mario or Luigi, the Gwinnett County Police Would Like a Word With You

Several Patch stories were featured on Fark last year.

Fark, for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure of visiting the site, is a news aggregation site populated with reader-submitted links. Readers write their own funny, satirical and often weird headlines for news stories and Fark moderators choose a select few to feature -- or greenlight -- from among the thousands of daily entries. 

Check out these greenlit Fark headlines of local Patch stories from 2013:

What you say: "It's not me, man" What cop hears: "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately"

In retrospect, Kamron realized that telling the officer he had a digital scale to avoid getting ripped off when buying marijuana was probably not the best course of action

If your name is Mario or Luigi, the Gwinnett County Police would like a word with you

You know that part of the rental contract where you agree to have the car back by a certain date? Turns out Avis takes that kind of seriously

Fark ready headline: "Man with club foot, woman with teeth 'similar to a meth user' sought in Buford shoplifting Incident"

Mayor reportedly offers to change his title to "Sugardaddie" for $1 million

Pro tip: If you get a call from police saying the rental car you are driving has been reported stolen, stop driving it. Immediately

Woman arrested for dry humping two young girls tells police she "is a gay man trapped in a woman's body" ... and then it gets weird 

I don't trust the alien zombies either and have nothing against bikini-wearing chickens 

Old and busted: Getting pulled over for DUI by a cop. New hotness: Getting pulled over by paramedics 

Woman reportedly tells officer she will perform oral sex on him, kill him and use voodoo against him, but not necessarily in that order 

At least he didn't shoot his eye out 

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