Drinking Your Way Through the State of the Union

Tonight when , some people will be paying particularly close attention.

Over the past few days, a host of State of the Union (SOTU) drinking games have popped up on the Internet. The rules vary, but the end results appear likely to be the same across the board.

Jason Linkins of The Huffington Post writes, “President Barack Obama will be delivering his State Of The Union address Tuesday night on the teevee. And we know that many of you may choose to use this occasion to get somewhat ‘chemically altered.’ We can't blame you! Have you seen the State of the Union?”

In what he describes as the official Huffington Post State of the Union drinking game, Linkins lays out a long list of rules including: 

Take a swig

Obama discusses immigration reform, education initiatives, the NATO mission in Libya, high-speed rail, folding the Department of Commerce and trade organizations into one Cabinet-level agency, the Keystone XL Pipeline.

Pound a shot

Obama discusses the use of brutal police tactics on Occupiers, support for marriage equality, Eurozone bailouts, student loan forgiveness.

Finish the bottle

Obama discusses human-animal hybrids, solar flares, poltergeists.

The Funny or Die website has similar rules for its SOTU drinking game. The one most likely to get you inebriated before the speech even starts: Take one drink every time Obama points and smiles at someone as he enters.

Zap2It offers a unique approach to the game by requiring beverages of different colors.

“When he adds a color qualifier to jobs ("green" jobs, "blue collar" jobs), drink one drink of the same color,” the post states.

Other rules include:

• Drink once every time you hear "progress," "let me be clear" or "make no mistake"
• If you hear "debt," borrow a shot from a friend, promise you'll really pay it back this time
• If you hear "deficit," finish your drink; borrow the drink of the person next to you and drink it too
• Drink twice when the President calls a tax increase "asking someone to pay more"

Worried that the whole idea of a SOTU drinking game sounds, well, disrespectful? The Daily Caller explains, “Nothing makes us want to hit the bottle more than tuning into C-SPAN.”

Their most potentially dangerous rule: Chug a Natural Ice every time President Obama mentions “Main Street,” “The middle class” or any variation thereof.

If your vice of choice leans more towards gambling than drinking, you can always play what the Washington Times describes as a “drinking game for political geeks” by listening for the phrases that odds makers have deemed most likely to appear in the SOTU. The current favorite at 8-to-1? “We have more work to do.”

Sober or not, will you be watching the State of the Union tonight? Tell us in the comments.